I really should have known that this was just a tad to big to be a singleton baby. I just assumed it was because I had just delivered a baby! We went in for our first ultrasound of the pregnancy, expecting to hear a more accurate due date. The ultrasound technician had not turned my screen on yet, and I was looking at Chris (I always get a tad sentimental during these first few months) I saw his face go blank, white instantly. Then, before I had a chance to move even he says "You have got to be kidding me!" My first thought was, 'yup he saw a penis' then switched to 'no, he wouldn't say that', instantly blurting out "IT'S TWINS!" Sure enough right then she switched on my screen, and I saw two perfectly round little circles on the screen, 2 perfect beautiful little heads. I instantly started to cry. I spent the next few days in a haze, recounting my story but not really believing it myself. Then I gave myself a few good cries (about a week's worth) put on my big girl panties, and started getting down with the pink and purple.
After nearly 2 months in the hospital on 24-hour bed rest, I brought two healthy little girls into the world, with the help of some of the best doctors and in the area. We had a lot to worry about with this pregnancy, and the health of myself and the girls. But here they are absolutely perfect.
After the girls were delivered, I had a surgery of my own to take care of, so I was not able to be with them right after delivery. The first time they wheeled me (laying in my bed hooked to tubes and everything) in to the NICU, so I could hold them. Up until this point the girls had not been in the same bed, this was the first time they were together after delivery. Cuddled onto my chest JackLynn reached over to Izobel grabbing her hand, and there we stayed for as long as they let me. We were bonded from that moment, it was instant and I have not felt something that strong before.
Having twins has been such an awesome experience, one coupled with fear, anxiety, excitement, love, anger, emotions, tears, fits, cuddles, and everything in between. They are so much alike, mostly in the things they like to do, and the outfits they like to wear. Izobel was dressed in pink from the moment I was allowed to dress her, and JackLynn donned purple from the start. In reality, I could not tell them apart unless I knew what color they were wearing, and I painted their toe nails different colors. Still to this day, I find myself naturally drawn to pink for Izzy and purple for Jack. Of course, mani/pedi's still included. Personality is where the differences llie. Izobel is 1/2 princess 1/2 tom boy, playing basketball in her Bell ball gown, or bringing barbies to make mud pies. She is a mamma's girl, and has been from the beginning, she is also very stubborn like her momma too. JackLynn is extremely polite, shy and soft spoken at first. Once she gets to know she will not shut her mouth {she talks as much as I do!}. She is extremely feminine, her current obsession is weddings and getting married one day. Not being married, because that disgusts her, the wedding itself and the "awesome party after!" is where her heat lies. {sounds like a mini party planner in the midst} She likes to argue {can't imagine where she got that either} and does not back down easily if she feels she is right, or has been wronged. We call her the debate queen.
When I found out I was expecting twins I read everything I could get my hands on. I was a research and google junkie. Cooped up in the hospital on bed rest leaves you little entertainment options. I thought I needed to make sure I got everything right, and what to combine, and what to individualize. I realized recently, and very few things that I "researched" actually made it into out every day lives. Every year the girls each get a birthday cake with candles on each. We do not combine birthday gifts, or Christmas/ Hanukkah gifts {unless it does not make sense to have two}. I realized that I just figured it out on my own. I am more focused on creating relationships with these amazing little people. Whether it's groceries shopping or shoe shopping, running errands or running to the park the three of us are almost always together. I cannot even begin to imagine what my life would be like without them.
Next year we enter Kindergarten. The reality of growing up has come to slap me in the face. This is the year that I have feared above all others. These are my babies, and I was not prepared for the difficulty of letting go of the toddler phase. We have had some of the most amazing morning "circle times" our, our craft afternoons and creations have made us laugh and made us proud. I hope that the memories that we have made will help them through this next phase of life. I hope that the separation isn't to difficult for them {because it will be hell for me} and that I have instilled enough confidence. I know I am very excited to see how their independence level rises!
Happy Birthday JackLynn and Izobel!
Love,
Mom
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